I have two daughters close in age. I lost them both at once. I am losing my grasp on their hands, and it is leaving two gaping holes in my heart. 

I’ve been home with them their whole lives. I rarely took a day, or barely an hour, away from them. I fled to the pediatrician with each infant fever. I sampled every Play-Doh bakery delight and clapped at all the Barbie fashion shows. I soaked at rainy soccer games and scratched my head at the new math.

I loved every minute. 

My girls grew into teenagers. The upstairs hallway quieted with closed bedroom doors. Screens hid their innocent faces that once looked up at me. 

I adjusted and tried to keep them safe. Now the house is empty. 

All the days run together. They were short and long. The joyful firsts and fun raced by in a flash. When they were little, my mother warned me, “You think it will always be this way, but it won’t.”

My husband and I found a way to hold on a little longer. Home videos! We place our little girls on the TV screen and glimpse their squeaky voices and their toothless smiles again. 

And sometimes, when our daughters return home, they ask to watch home videos too. We see that we all cherish our short time spent together as the four of us in the haven of our cozy home. 

We know the love and the memories will be with each of us the rest of our lives. 

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay.