I am a Christian, and I believe that Jesus saved us from ourselves and our sins. Lent is a time to repent our sins knowing that Jesus died for us. Our hope is that God loves and forgives. 

And what are we doing? Do we forgive or even try to forgive others? We all have hurt and been hurt by others, big and small. Examples at work, in traffic, in relationships – everyday living with those we share life.

Harvard Medical School has a process called the REACH method: Recall, Emphasize, Altruism, Commitment, and Hold. 

Recall. The first step is to recall the wrongdoing in an objective way. Visualize the person and situation and all the feelings. Don’t push aside anything, especially if it makes you feel angry or upset.

Empathize. Next, try to understand the other person’s point of view regarding why he or she hurt you, but without minimizing or downplaying the wrong that was done. Even if you must step outside yourself.  

Altruism, unselfish concern for the welfare of others outside ourselves. Move over pride. Recall a time when you treated someone harshly and were forgiven. How did it make you feel? 

Commitment. Commit yourself to forgive. Release the wrongdoing and the pain. Pray, journal, and focus on good feelings. 

Hold. Finally, hold on to your forgiveness. Bad memories will recur, but hold onto the new phase of forgiveness and move on. Do not go back … to that moment and possibly that person. If it leads to more harm, the circle begins again.  

In the end, we’ve all heard that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Harboring negative emotions does more damage than good. Learn to forgive and set ourselves free. Forgiveness opens our hearts to love others better. We will travel lighter and brighter in the universe. 

Thanks for the image by congerdesign from Pixabay.